Manager insists on 6-8 hour video calls daily, employee hesitates to go to HR: 'She runs everything she does by me'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 13, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

There is such a thing as overcommunication.

One of the most valuable skills that employees in all kinds of industries can learn is how to communicate effectively, whether that is about making appropriate business decisions or honing that so-called water-cooler talk. People are more likely to want to be around those colleagues who seem to know what they are talking about and are generally pleasant company. 

At the same time, one of the most valuable communication skills to master in the workplace is also knowing when to shut up. At a certain point, most employees just want to get their tasks done and go home in peace. Nobody enjoys being around a clingy coworker, not only because they can be annoying, but also because it can get to a point where they are being counterproductive. 

It is, of course, valuable to develop decent relationships with colleagues, and to be able to chat with them about things other than work from time to time. However, most have a limit when it comes to small talk and indeed speaking on professional matters that may not be in their job description. Being able to take the hint when it is time to work independently is necessary at every level.

 

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  • A female employee smiling and pointing upwards while on a video call.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A female employee smiling and pointing upwards while on a video call. Picture does not depict real parties.
     

  • An employee was feeling torn about their remote job, and so they sought advice from r/AskHR. It fit their needs perfectly, aside from the fact that their manager insisted on having a video call with them for most of their workday.

    This boss talked a lot about personal matters in between work duties, and also seemed to expect her subordinate to take on some of her managerial responsibilities. They were feeling uncomfortable and wondering when it might be appropriate to talk to human resources about the issue.

  • Manager keeps me on video calls 6-8 hours per day. Can I bring this to HR?

    I work remotely and my manager and I are the only two people in our department. I really like my job and the company, but the amount of time I spend on calls with my manager is starting to make me miserable. Over the last two days, I've spent almost 15 hours talking to her:
    via Prudent_Pear9260
  • Yesterday: 7 hours 21 minutes on Teams Today: 5 hours 43 minutes on Teams + 1 hour 53 minutes on the phone Some of it is obviously work related and necessary. But a lot of the time we're on Teams, I'm sharing my screen and working while she just talks in the background. She'll talk about random personal stuff, send me pictures of
    via Prudent_Pear9260

  • The employee felt like their duties were mounting.

    things she wants to buy, etc. It feels less like a meeting and more like I have someone sitting next to me talking all day. She also runs pretty much everything she does by me. I help brainstorm her assigned tasks, give feedback, edit things before she sends them out, and reassure her about decisions. In addition, a lot of her managerial tasks
    via Prudent_Pear9260
  • are being passed on to me. She's my manager, but somehow I've become the person she needs feedback from on everything too. The problem is that she's pretty insecure and emotional, so I'm worried
    via Prudent_Pear9260
  • that trying to set boundaries is going to turn into a whole thing. Since there are only two of us in the department, there's nowhere to hide if the relationship gets weird.
    via Prudent_Pear9260

  • They wished they didn't have to deal with this issue in an otherwise great role.

    I don't want to leave. The actual job is pretty much my dream setup. I just cannot keep spending 6-8 hours a day on the phone with one person. By the end of the day I'm completely fried and it's obviously taking a toll on my productivity. Is this something I can reasonably bring to HR? If so, how should I approach this?
    via Prudent_Pear9260
  • A female employee wearing a headset, as seen on a laptop screen, with papers and a coffee mug beside the laptop.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A female employee wearing a headset, as seen on a laptop screen, with papers and a coffee mug beside the laptop. Representative only.


     

  • Commenters felt that were more steps to be taken before HR.

    Significant-Theme253 Is there anyway you could try and talk to her first and work it out prior to going to HR? Ask her if you could meet maybe from x time to x time. Tell her you need more time to concentrate on your work, so you would appreciate it if
    via Significant-Theme253
  • you could spend more time working alone. This is a very reasonable request. I worked in HR for 10 years. The advice I would give someone in this situation is to try and work it out with her first, prior to going to anyone else. This way you build trust between you both and you
    via Significant-Theme253
  • build integrity. If this doesn't work, the next step would be to say that you really didn't want to have to do this but...if we can't work this out, I am going to have to talk to HR....again you are letting your boss make the decision and work with you prior to talking to HR...
    via Significant-Theme253

  • They felt there were other places to turn for support.

    Ok-Complaint-37 She sounds unstable and toxic. I doubt it is possible to regulate her. Unfortunately, the only sure way is out. There is another way - talking to her boss. There is some likelihood that they will see that she is useless and remove her altogether. But it is risky road.
    via Ok-Complaint-37
  • VirginaThorn This should be brought up with her manager.
    via VirginaThorn
  • Jaded Macoroni867 Is there a manager above her? Even if it's just you two in the department it sounds like you don't really need a manager and maybe your managers position could be eliminated. You could suggest a trial run to see if you and it get are more productive with her elsewhere
    via JadedMacoroni867

  • There were also other theories on how to deal with her.

    ATLien_3000 Set up other meetings. For the first week or so, I'd legitimately set other meetings with other colleagues/clients for four plus hours a day. Get her used to the cadence, then back off with the other meetings
    via ATLien_3000
  • JoJo-Goulding She is lonely and she has control over you. She wants 100% of your time no matter the cost. You need to find another job. This sounds insane and ridiculous and will not end well.
    via JoJo-Goulding

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